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| The Doctor tries to save some talking space babies, while star Ncuti Gatwa tries to save the episode. One of them is more successful than the other. |
1 episode. Running Time: Approx. 46 minutes. Written by: Russell T. Davies. Directed by: Julie Anne Robinson. Produced by: Vicki Delow.
THE PLOT:
The Doctor and Ruby arrive on the lower level of a space station in the distant future. They have just enough time to note that it's in poor repair before they find themselves fleeing from a monster who fills them with terror.
On the upper level, the Doctor discovers that this station is a "baby farm," designed to grow babies for colonization. The station has been abandoned, but the babies were left behind. Now the babies (who talk) are keeping the basic functions of the station going.
It's been enough to allow them to survive so far, but it's only a matter of time before the food runs out or the station falls apart. And that's not even mentioning the "Bogeyman" that stands between the time travelers and the TARDIS!
CHARACTERS:
The Doctor: An early clue to the nature of the Bogeyman is the Doctor's own fear. After he runs from it, he wonders why he was so terrified. He relates the babies' situation to that of him and Ruby, two "foundlings," and he's determined to help the infants... though given that this is the second baby-themed adventure in a row, he does ask Ruby, "What is it with you and babies?"
Ruby: Once she realizes they have traveled in time, she's excited. She still has the presence of mind to stop herself from running out the door, though, pausing to ask if it's safe. She becomes instantly maternal toward the babies. When they discover that the children were birthed for legal reasons but then abandoned, the Doctor remarks on how strange that is; Ruby replies that "It's not that strange", a perfect fit for her background both as an abandoned baby and as someone who has helped her adopted mother look after many foster children.
THOUGHTS:
"Babies to the rescue!"
-the Doctor is saved by a baby with a flamethrower. Or possibly the pharmacy mixed hallucinogens into my blood pressure pills.
I always strive, in these reviews, to rationally look at the positives and negatives of any given episode. I like to parse what I think worked, what I think didn't work, and why.
And so, in the spirit of dispassionate evaluation, I have to ask...
WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT?
This episode has talking babies, complete with creepy CGI lip sync for their dialogue, running a space station by pushing buttons and pulling cords. When the Doctor and Ruby get into trouble, the babies drive their strollers down to the dangerous section of the station to rescue them. From a monster that's made out of... well, I won't spoil that except to say that, much like Ruby, you really don't want to know. Oh, and the Doctor saves the day by getting the space station to fart at the end. Yes, really.
It's appropriate that this was made for international release on Disney Plus, because this feels like a Disney film. Not one of their big theatrical features, mind, but one of the direct-to-video titles they pumped out during the late 1990s.
A few good things manage to sneak in, keeping this from a rock bottom rating. An opening "butterfly effect" gag provides a great hook, and it even gets a small callback when the Doctor tells Ruby his reasons for not letting her go back to the church on Ruby Road. There's a terrific moment mid-episode in which the Doctor and Ruby are distracted by a memory of that church, complete with actual snow. The tag scene, as the Doctor goes from cheery in front of Ruby to secretive once her back is turned, strikes an effective chord to end the hour. I suspect it's not a coincidence that all of these are moments that have nothing to do with the standalone story.
Writer Russell T. Davies is quite good at story structure; and to give the episode its due, this is competently structured nonsense. Both the nature of the Bogeyman and the solution are planted early on, so that neither revelation comes out of nowhere. There's a refrain of the Doctor pushing buttons that pays off at the climax. There's a bit of social commentary about forcing babies to be born only to refuse to care for them that's a bit on-the-nose, but that at least has some substance to it. Too bad it's all surrounded by wacky baby shenanigans.
In my review of The Church on Ruby Road, I said that if you're going to be silly, you may as well go for it. But there's a fine line between "silly" and "stupid" - and to my tastes at least, this episode crosses that line. I didn't laugh at the comedy baby moments, but I did roll my eyes, sigh, and check the time. A lot.
Finally, to be a grumpy old man about it: Back in the day, original producer Verity Lambert got in trouble for having a teenager played by an adult actress menacingly wield a pair of scissors. This episode has babies in strollers literally playing with fire, and nobody so much as blinked. Um... progress?
OVERALL:
I suspect one's tolerance for this episode is going to be tied to how cute one finds the idea of talking babies ("SPACE babies," as the Doctor irritatingly keeps exclaiming). Personally, I had my fill of that by the end of the first Look Who's Talking film, so I was neither charmed nor amused.
Gatwa and Gibson remain a winning duo, even if their characters continue to exist in only the broadest of strokes, and there are some good bits around the edges. That's (just) enough to keep me from giving this a "1." But I truly hope the rest of the season is a whole lot better than this.
Overall Rating: 2/10.
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